I’ve been contemplating relationships a lot lately. There is no way to get out of this lifetime without a relationship of some sort. That may be with people, animals, the planet and most definitely, yourself. Even if you did the hermit thing, you would still need to find nourishment of some sort and work in collaboration with nature.
Relationships create that special practice place to challenge our intentions, integrity and often, grit. I believe we can look at the people that surround us and get feedback as to how we are vibrating our own frequency. Like attracts like. Most of the time this is a great thing but occasionally, we draw in those that are a reflection of where we may be needing some work on ourselves. They can also be from a place of learning how to shift old patterns.
I was well aware when I changed my office location into a more collaborative space that I was once again, being offered and was drawing in, the opportunity to see how I could work in a group setting. After making all the decisions in my business settings for seventeen years, it was a decidedly fun and, at the same time, daunting task. Thankfully, I have a very good friend there with me who isn’t afraid to point out when I am being less than stellar in my communication style or I’m allowing others needs to be more important than my own. I do the same for her. Get yourself that kind of friend! I have quite a few of them because clear is kind. Honesty is beautiful and if someone really cares about you, they will deliver it in a way you can hear without blame, shame or accusation. We often laugh our a$ses off too when we realize the other person is SO right! That helps so much!
We didn’t have this type of communication and caring by waving a magic wand. We’ve worked at it and our own insecurities about having someone love us so much they would be willing to risk the relationship when they see the other not being their best self. It is NOT easy all the time but the comfort that comes from that is so amazing it can bring me to tears just thinking about it. Do you have a relationship like that in your life? Do you have the freedom to be you in all your glory knowing the other is looking out for your best interests too? Are YOU that person for someone else? Are you brave enough to put your own issues aside to help another when they need it? Do you give too much and therefore haven’t even explored these ideas because there is no time or energy available to do so?
I get it, it’s scary to open that heart (emotional) up and allow people in to see you don’t have all your shit together. But you know what? None of us does. None of us has it all together or knows everything and the person who acts the most like they do, probably needs a hug more than anyone else because that is PRESSURE!
How do you invest in the relationships in your life?
- Do you take time for you so your tank is full to help others?
- Can you listen to someone without interjecting what you feel is in their best interest until asked?
- Can you put aside an agenda or need to be right to see that we each have our own path to explore and walk?
- Do you have even exchanges in your life? Are you the one always checking on someone or do you get spontaneous “hey, I was thinking of you” texts, calls or messages?
- Do you listen to yourself and when emotions of lack show up, you ask for help? (This one is SO hard for me. I’m still in training!)
- Do you know you well enough that you can stand in your own sense of self and be present for another?
- Are you happy being alone so that when you are with others there is a genuine appreciation of their contribution? (This one can be challenging but so worth the investment.)
The time you take to ask and respond to these questions will be time well spent. The investment has amazing returns to it when visited often. Kind of like compound interest; you have to put the money in for it to build on itself.
Ready to diversify your portfolio with a little exploration? Good! Get at it!