Well, of course it does. It’s called an aura, where we do a lot of our perceiving of life, but that isn’t what I’m talking about. Last week I was working through some of the remnants of childhood experiences with my theracoach when I had a moment of, wait a minute, I loved that field behind our house. I always felt safe there, well except when it was dark and I had to book it home from Girl Scouts or a friend’s house. But maybe that is where the idea I wanted to run got planted!
The field belonged to the church at the end of the street. They would let it grow up and then bale it but while it was growing it was the best place to walk through. My own personal labyrinth. It was a way to cut off a couple of miles to the elementary school and it had THE best hills to jump our bikes off. I started walking to school when I was nine. I didn’t like the school bus idea all that much and figured I could get there on my own and I was allowed to. I had to get myself to any programs I wanted to attend, hair cuts, doctor appointments and the cool store that was on the edge of the field to buy my mothers cigarettes; Tarryington long lights 100’s. Ahhhhhh, memories. It was just the way it was in our house. At the time I didn’t think a lot about it. I think I was the original Nike moto kid; just do it. Do what you have to do to get through to get out of this town.
I always knew I would leave town. I had to. It felt too confining to me. To be honest, sometimes visiting now still feels that way, but I know I can drive away at any time so it’s nice to spend time there; short amounts of time. It’s an amazing town with great people. It just doesn’t line up with my wiring. It’s so good for us to know what fits and what doesn’t fit. If we are willing to be honest with ourselves and not get too caught up in what the audience in our lives may think, we can appreciate a place, person, situation or job without feeling confined by their perceptions.
I realized in that session that while I always knew I would leave the town, I could take the places and experiences that brought me such joy like that field. It was an example of open space, have I mentioned I am one of eight children? Space is a limited commodity with that many bodies around. I require space. My aura, the energetic field, requires space.
I work with people regarding their childhood memories, belief systems and often trauma’s. It’s powerful to be able to shift those experiences from one of “man, I had no space growing up to breathe.” to “Oh, I loved that field behind my house. It as so open and freeing to be in.” The brain is amazing and will make the shift if we are brave enough to state what doesn’t work and figure out what does.
Do you have a place like my field that you can go to when you are feeling pressure or out of whack with your life? I have used that feeling of the being in the field to remind me that expansiveness is available wherever I am. You don’t have to transport your whole body there. Visualize or feel where your place is where you feel the most you. It could be in nature, but it could just as easily be on stage, or in a great chair with a pen and a book in your hand. It could be in your car singing at the top of your lungs. Being with others is great, but where do you feel calm, connected and content when by yourself? We all need to be able to have this feeling to be our best selves in the world.
Perhaps take this week to feel your way through your childhood and see if there is a place you felt that all things were possible. Where no matter what was going on, you felt a sense of peace.
It’s amazing how fast the physiological system calms down when we allow ourselves to Re-pattern the view of the past and bring the joy into the now. Could you give that gift to you now?
I wish for you the joy and peace of being surrounded by tall grass and the possibility of life.
Off to take my field to the field and replenish,