Have you ever heard that expression, don’t allow others to occupy space in your head rent free? I love that expression. So often we do that. We allow the ones who aren’t even in residence to drive us to that frustrated place. This may be because you still hear the voice of your parents even if you are an adult yourself or you consider what the “house of they” is going to say rather than be able to hear what your own thoughts are.
The house of they? Well, those are the people we always hear referenced, they said we should live like this, they think I should wear that, they know me better than I know myself, WHAT? Who are these they people? I want to talk to them…..exactly…just try to find them when you need them!
What is the benefit to giving away all of this personal power and confidence to the house of they? I believe it is because it keeps us from taking responsibility for what is in our own consciousness. If I blame them or hand power over to them, I don’t ever have to admit I did something or heaven forbid, I don’t know something. If I blame my parents for what THEY did to me, I can act like a doofus now. I don’t know about you, but that one isn’t working for me anymore. I can feel myself losing patience when someone wants to go on and on about what happened to them and why they can’t move forward. It isn’t true. There may be circumstances that stunk in your childhood, but if you can drive a vehicle or vote, newsflash, you aren’t a child anymore. It is time to take inventory of what is really taking up space in your house and do some clearing out!
So, how about we start in the attic? What is your thought process? Is it someone else’s fault you don’t like you or that your life isn’t going how you would like it to? (pssst, the answer is no, but if you think it is someone else, you could look at your thought process here.) Do you have a supportive thought process? If you do, give that thing a hug! You will want to reinforce it with more love.
Speaking of the parents, how about some childhood issues? We covered that a bit but what others could you be hanging on to that aren’t serving you any longer? I used the phrase, my parents did the best they could with what they had at the time, repeatedly to help me move through some childhood stuff. I have used this same phrase when talking with my kids. I have also said, see me in twenty five years and tell me you did everything perfectly and then we can chat about our screw ups. This doesn’t mean we excuse poor behavior. It means we see things as they are right now because we can’t change the past anyway. How we think about it, yes, but the circumstances, no.
Could you use a cleansing? Do you want to clean off the old stuff you continue to carry? Good for you! Great answer, for in the cleaning up of the old perceptions of others having more power over your happiness, you gain self love. A great trade isn’t it?
What about your restful self? Are you resting? Are you allowing your physical body to be honored and restored? There isn’t an award on the other side for the greatest martyr you know. Sorry to disappoint you. Rest up, read a good book, take a nap, stare at the clouds, meditate, do whatever helps your being be and appreciate that you are taking care of your physical housing too.
Something that can be very restorative is creativity. This comes in so many varieties that I won’t even attempt to nail it down, but you can, for you! If it feels good and lights you up and uses that creative fire, go for it….as long as it’s legal. 🙂
Now formality can be a lot of fun, but please don’t save the good china for a special occasion or wait to tell someone you love them. Dress up and go out to eat, learn to ballroom dance or speak a foreign language but leave the formality there. Get squishy with your family and your feelings. Let them know you care, in your way. This one has been a challenge for me, but I am working my way through my house of me and I’ll get it yet!
Family comes in so many different rooms and decorative styles. I LOVE that about family. I have birth family, marriage family, soul family, adopted family, community family and animal family. We truly are blessed to be able to add on to our family in any way we wish. We are also blessed to be able to decide when family is no longer a reason to stay connected. This is a tough one but when you realize you don’t have to put up with anything that isn’t respectful, the family either heals or goes it’s own way making room for that soul family.
It is not easy but it is a way to let go of the past and realize where you want to be today.
All of this is a way to check in with you and see what is getting attention yet not helping you. If you are one to air your dirty laundry, or someone else’s, you would benefit from a home inspection. Something in the upper floors is not satisfied if you are operating out of the basement energy. Someone else is taking up space and not paying rent if you are looking for the drama high of dirty laundry viewing. This includes gossip. The rule I follow; Don’t say anything about someone you wouldn’t say to their face. It will keep you honest and help you to stop the habit of gossip if you have developed it already and then your laundry will be so stinking clean, they will call you to do a detergent commercial. (There is that elusive they again!)
Have some fun with this exercise and see where you are living in yourself. I wouldn’t suggest collecting rent though, just follow through with the eviction process and shift to a higher vibrational way of living. One that is love thy neighbor….and thyself!