This week has been a bit challenging emotionally. Energetically as well. I appreciate a good challenge but sometimes I wish there was an off switch so I could not feel so much. Other times I am so grateful I can feel as much as I can, I could just burst with excitement and joy.
In the context of my life, you know, having people in it, as well as the context of my work, I see a lot of people hurting. For the most part I am able to put it in perspective as I truly know that I am not any help to someone if I am falling apart at the seams. I believe that some of us are given the ability to remain calm so that others can feel safe to share and express their own hurts. For the longest time, I had a hard time expressing those same hurts because who could understand the magnitude at which I feel and then I realized, no one. Because no one knows how any of us can feel. Only we can. This made me think about how we grieve and how some people hold on to it for generations and how others are able to move themselves to a healing space either through tenacity or through a true desire to feel good.
This thought then sent me to another one (doesn’t being in my head sound like fun?) of what I wish people knew now while they are here in the physical. I did a group setting where plenty of loved ones came through yet the longing was still there to connect in a different way from the people sitting in front of me. I have long learned that I can’t make up stuff and I won’t so what comes through, comes through. I heard myself saying to the group, stop making it about big items. Embrace the everyday things that we pass off as not important and start to really live your life as it is lived on the other side, in love and humor.
Sooooooooo then I decided I would just compile a list of things I wish you knew that I have learned either in working with so many grieving souls or the other side has informed me of in our many meetings. So here goes; a few to contemplate.
- Life is eternal. There is not death. We move from physical to non-physical and back again but death does not exist. Energy continues. Learn it, accept it, be it.
- When you hold onto grief, you are not helping those who have crossed. You are not honoring them, nor are they interested in your pain as a way to remember them. If the relationship was challenging, do your part to heal it and then be grateful for the teacher that they were on your path to happiness.
- NO ONE is alone on the other side. No one crosses alone and no one is segregated. All travel together if that is the wish. There is the option of quiet space just like here only on the other side, it is celebrated and encouraged as a good thing and very healing. No one can fill us up and no one can take away. We are responsible for that in all levels of our growth, physical and non-physical.
- Experiences can hurt but if you continue to replay them, that is on you. It happened and while there may be residual effects, you are in charge of how much it hurts you. Decide if you want to sit in it or if you want to use it to help yourself grow. If you don’t want to grow, keep that to yourself too. Others are not obligated to stagnate because you want to. Everyone has their own path and respecting that would go a long way to being happy on this side.
- As one person who was in transition (the space between the physical and non. What we refer to as the dying (wrong!) process) told me recently “I’ve had a go at this life, I am ready to see what is next and I am really looking forward to having hair again.” Humor is really important and it is only secondary to love on the other side. I say we can learn to have that here too.
- It really is about the small stuff. The way we talk with others, the time we give ourselves in meditation, the service that we provide once we are strong and full ourselves. It is about listening with connection and it is about knowing self well enough to not be willing to do anything that feels out of alignment with our soul.
It is my wish that we all honor our individuality and personal paths and that we learn that while we are eternal, it is right now that is important. It is my wish that people know that hurting is temporary and it is our greatest teacher for when we can connect to that hurt then we have surely known joy for it is joy our heart and souls are fed by and craving.
It is in this knowing that while I am sad for anyone who is experiencing the passing of loved ones this week, I am ever so grateful that they knew what love is. I will encourage them to remember that whatever the relationship is, to be grateful that it will continue and sometimes, it gets better! I will also continue to share the knowledge that is given to me so that perhaps others can find that knowing that everything really is ok and that in this process we call life, love, humor, joy, connection, expression, expansion, and hair for those that are follically impaired, is not only possible, they are a given.
Focus on what is in your life and it will surely grow. For now I will focus on how amazing it is to feel and to be able to support those that are not feeling so great in this time for surely that is the expression of my love at its highest intention.