Choice is an amazing thing isn’t it? We can choose what we think, where we go, who we hang out with but when it comes to choosing self it is incredibly challenging sometimes. At least I have found that to be true. Most of us were taught, ok trained, from a very young age to consider others first. I believe we do have to keep others in mind and be kind, but as we age, we also have to listen to self and decide what is in alignment with our soul as well as our physical self. A flipping hard thing to do at times and yet, are we truly good with others if we aren’t listening to ourselves? I don’t think so.
I have had to really face this process this year and ,man oh man, does it create a fascinating dialogue in the head. I felt like I was having a whole tug of war going on and once I realized I actually was, between my head and my soul, it got so much easier to decipher.
I have been offered a couple of business opportunities this year, one recently, that to the head sounded like exactly what I had been manifesting over the last few years, but something just wasn’t right. It was with a company that I so believe in and would be proud to represent but my gut and soul kept feeling while it was lined up to who I was last year, it doesn’t line up with who I am this year. Oh, I tried to make it fit. I tried like the step-sister in Cinderella but this gal wears a nine and that size six just was not going on my foot!
I kept asking myself, “how would you coach someone around this”? So, I did. I asked me;
- Does it feel like it lines up with who you are now, today, in this moment? No, it really doesn’t.
- Would you be doing it so you didn’t feel like you let someone else down? (old, old, old pattern here) I would and that isn’t respectful to the person offering the collaboration.
- Would you want to work with someone who wasn’t completely on board with what you were offering? Easy no here. Go authentic or don’t go at all is my motto.
- If we ask your future self which choice would she be the most fulfilled with, what would she say? No brainer; choose what feels right, not just what sounds like it is the best fit.
- What does your soul have to say about this? Wellllll, my soul was saying that if I were to do it, I would be once again putting someone else’s needs ahead of my own and postponing what I want. Sure, it offered me a “stage” in which to stand but I allowed myself to state what I’ve known all along, “while I fully intend to be on a large stage, and work collaboratively with others, I want to do my own thing. That which I do well, being Vicki Baird.” Dang. There it was. Choose self. Choose authenticity. Choose the challenging conversation which shall set one free. So, I did. I turned it down. Phew.
I trust that when we listen to ourselves that great things happen. The energy aligns and brilliance can shine. I’m happy to say I realized that I, like you, am a compilation of my skills and personality.
We offer a collective experience of our lives and by trying to make that fit a mold, we often diminish who we are. To be someone who encourages others to be completely themselves and then not do that would be extremely hypocritical of me.
Listen, it takes incredible courage to be our own individual selves and to say to someone else that their dream may not be yours. This may be your parents, mentors, society, bosses, partners, or even children. I hope you know that and embrace your courageous self as well. It takes deep breathing and a trust in self and the universe and is soooooo worth it.
For me now? Well, I will do what Vicki does. I will offer my special blend of skills and abilities to help as many people as I can embrace their amazing selves and bring them to the world. I will be stepping up the classes and events that I love so much. I will be launching a podcast as well as online classes so those oh so patient national clients will be able to participate and I am developing a line of videos, classes and more articles that go “Beyond the Blog.” Oh, and I will be sending great vibes to the TedX talk I was nominated to apply for; and I did!
I am so grateful to everyone I have met, will meet and continue to learn from on my life’s journey of bringing my soul and physical being into the ultimate collaborative!
Care to join me?